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#RelationshipGoals

Christy Van der Henst

#RelationshipGoals?

How many times a day do you see #RelationshipGoals when you open Twitter or Instagram? I know I see it at least 3 or 4 times a day. And each time I see one, I can't help but feel like my own relationship isn't as good as everyone else's because we don't do any Twitter or Instagram #RelationshipGoals-like things.

It's only recently that I began my first real relationship, and let me tell you, twenty-one years of seeing a variety of couple goals and relationship goals all over social media and in the movies has definitely built up my expectations of what a relationship is supposed to look like. Spoiler Alert: My relationship looks nothing like what I imagined it to be, and for these first few months, this tortured me. All I wanted was for my boyfriend to make me care packages when I got my period, or send me random texts to tell me I'm beautiful, or bring me hot chocolate because I had a bad day, or text me to open my door one random night for me to find roses outside. He didn't do any of the millions of things that I've seen plastered all over social media and because of that, I thought he didn't actually like me.

But once I stopped and thought about it, I realized that the real "relationship goal" isn't what these guys were doing for their girls, but the meaning behind what they were doing. For example: my boyfriend doesn't text me randomly that he thinks I'm beautiful, but he will send me random hourly countdowns until we see each other again. While it's not the exact words "You are beautiful" it is his way of telling me that he cares, and that to me is what my real relationship goal is.

Try the activity below, Fill in what something special your significant other has done to complete your "relationship goal" and look back on it whenever you feel sad, insecure, or just need a little pick me up. It doesn't even need to be an action; it could be words, a look, a smile, whatever conveys to you that they care.

     
Relationship Goal   Significant Other's Action
I.E: Tells you that you're Pretty   The way they looked at me across the fire"
Tells You You're Pretty    
Cares About Your Feelings    
Conveys That They Think About You    
Demonstrates Their Commitment    
Explores Your Interests    
Expresses Their Love    
Shows They Are Proud To Be With You    

About Me:

My name is Christy VanderHenst and I live in Torrance, California. I am 21 years old and got to school at West LA College. For fun I like to go rock climbing and cuddle up with a good romance book. In the future I would like to be a paralegal, open up my own nonprofit, and publish a romance novel.